Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
