We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
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im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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