Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
well you can't waste a boner
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
