Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
