I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
