road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
