Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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