You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
