i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize