I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
