we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Welp...herpes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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