Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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