I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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