there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
