I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
