don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
