What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
