Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
