I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
