It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
