if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
