Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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