This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
