I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize