I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
