It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
