haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
