the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
