its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize