My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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