You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
