fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
