Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
