He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish you could order shots online.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
