now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
