I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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