I'm really into asian looking animals
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
