Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
