Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
