If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
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you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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