I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
