Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
