He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
