so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
