another moral hangover. fuck.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he told me I talked like a deaf person
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
