I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
