Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize