So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
