We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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