I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
