my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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