Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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