Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
