you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
