Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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