it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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